He'd make nice shoes.

There's something to be said for adamantium -- but back to that in a moment.

I got tired of guarding the dwarves and rejoined the other half of the party. We were off to "negotiate" with Rime, though I doubted he'd listen to reason. Heh.

... I mean, what kind of a lizard names her spawn "Rime"? What was she thinking? Maybe the egg was lime-colored and had a speech impediment? I don't know. Frankly it's the most retarded name I've heard yet. I bet he has a brother named Isuckalot, or maybe a sister named Myboobsareflat. I swear if I met Rime's mother I'd punch her right in the snout. No wonder he turned to an evil god. You're just asking for a fucked up kid with a name like that.

Anyways, "Rime" decided to make us jump through hoops -- he left some water breathing potions and a note and had us swim downriver to meet him. He was a little vague about where, I had a feeling the potions would run out just as we got sucked into a whirlpool but Obegard swore up and down they was nothing funky about them.

Off we went into the underground river. A bit chilly, but the ladies like it when I bathe so I try my best to do it every few weeks. I should be good to go until the next full moon or so -- those are real easy to note because Malakar starts howling when it's full. Freakin' shifters.

We finally spotted something non-river like -- an old bridge. I climbed up the side and lowered a rope for the less althletically inclined. Frankly I should have just tossed the midget up there, but he'd probably get all bitter and stab me with his little paring knife, or "shortsword" as he calls it. And then it might get infected and itch... so I just went ahead and climbed.

On one side of the bridge was something that screamed "no plot here" so we hung a left and went towards a large room with two small ante-chambers; one that was a mess hall and one that was an abandoned shrine to Kor. I popped off a quick prayer, since I'm tight with that deity and all.

In the large ominous room was a throne at the far end and a giant pile of treasure. Spotting the treasure, I immediately wanted to RUN THE HELL away. I mean that can't be good. In all my years of running around smashing bad guys for loot, you know they don't just leave that stuff in piles. There'd be some kind of zombie dragon unicorn pony with laser eyes and an aura of transmute-gold-to-electrum standing invisible right above your head, waiting to shit 2 gallons of acid down your neck before you could touch a copper.

I was right.

Oh look, an ginormous dragon. He was all prepared to whack us -- that poorly named Rime fellah had laid a trap, pissing off the dragon so he'd kill us. But they didn't plan on my smooth talking ways.

See, the dragon was all like "wassup, I'm gonna kill you" and I was like "wassup, wanna trade some of that gold for some mythril shirts?" and of course he did. So we traded less usable loot for fungible cash. I love dragon greed.

Of course, it wasn't going to be that easy. Rime came in with a posse and a nasty looking wizard lizard (see, at least that Rimes...) and started with the attacking and all that.

I finally got a chance to use my shiny new dwarven waraxe, so I called out the impressive wizard and tried to smack him down mano y mano. And tried. And tried. And tried. Damn thing barely made a dent -- even after some impressive leaps of mine chasing his ass around.

Now, they don't call me "Smart Durthen" for nothing. Well, they don't...but they should. See, I had held onto that admantium dagger we found earlier, and finally switched to that. It cut through his skin like an admantium weapon through stoneskin. I mean hot knife through butter.

So, while the other guys and the dragon were doing stuff, I killed the lizard wizard. The one who's name actually rimes. I didn't really pay attention to what the rest of the people did. I think the dragon breathed on people or something.

And now the fight's over, and Obegard is skinning and preserving that lizard wizard. Kor bless his very disturbing habit, 'cause daddy needs a new pair of shoes.